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my life is a typo by Ellen Kennedy

This morning I was a dick to just about anyone I know every now and then I feel like a dick and most of the time I keep it to myself but then there are times when I can’t help but let the asshole out as it does exist no matter how much I try to hide it spending all my life being a wallflower means I can be an observant jerk and this morning the beast needed to pick a fight any fight and I spent a good few hours just being generally dickish about everything and I wanted so much to stop but I was running off the mouth and now I am exhausted and I think I am going to sleep

my life is a typo
Ellen Kennedy

my cat has been biting my cheeks lately

she sits on my face and bites

i look at her and show her my face is sad

i say ‘look, my face is sad and it’s all your fault’

she makes a face like ‘oh’

i told my friend about my cat

she said ‘your life is pretty much a bestseller’

i thought ‘life is shit’

then i realized that most bestsellers are shit

she was right

will you pay me for living?

i’m a bestseller

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