This morning I was a dick to just about anyone I know every now and then I feel like a dick and most of the time I keep it to myself but then there are times when I can’t help but let the asshole out as it does exist no matter how much I try to hide it spending all my life being a wallflower means I can be an observant jerk and this morning the beast needed to pick a fight any fight and I spent a good few hours just being generally dickish about everything and I wanted so much to stop but I was running off the mouth and now I am exhausted and I think I am going to sleep
my life is a typo
Ellen Kennedymy cat has been biting my cheeks lately
she sits on my face and bites
i look at her and show her my face is sad
i say ‘look, my face is sad and it’s all your fault’
she makes a face like ‘oh’
i told my friend about my cat
she said ‘your life is pretty much a bestseller’
i thought ‘life is shit’
then i realized that most bestsellers are shit
she was right
will you pay me for living?
i’m a bestseller
