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“At one glance…” by Mihri Hatun

Was that too much? After years of letting people come and go and take what they need here, was yesterday too much? Do I have to keep my grief even to myself because there are strangers to witness it? Messy, uncouth, devastating, vile. That’s how love is. It’s filthy. It’s ungoverned. But it also makes you feel alive. Haven’t you had a broken heart before? Haven’t you found yourself shattered completely? The heart is like a fist wrapped in blood. I never tire of saying that. Would that be too much, too?

I was too much for somebody. But I knew with my whole being that he loved me once. And this is the only space where I can love him back now. You wouldn’t understand. He said, I want your ravenous mouth. But he also said: Goodbye, I know no other way to say it. Look at my heart. Look at all the scars. Or should I turn away, too, so everybody here won’t have to see it?

This is who I am. I am hurt. And this hurting is mine. Don’t take it away from me.

“At one glance…”
Mihri Hatun

At one glance
I loved you
With a thousand hearts

They can hold against me
No sin except my love for you
Come to me
Don’t go away

Let the zealots think
Loving is sinful
Never mind
Let me burn in the hellfire
Of that sin

Comments (13)

  • A.

    you are not too much. you’re right, they don’t understand. maybe they can’t. it doesn’t matter. this matters: be here.

    a long-overdue reply this weekend.

    reply
  • N

    I pity them, they are not capable of knowing.

    reply
  • MMac

    You misunderstand, T. Grieve freely, grieve openly, grieve ravenously. And I will do the same.

    reply
  • “But I knew with my whole being that he loved me once. ”

    i somehow feel for you.
    but, there’s more to life than wallowing in broken heart.

    you were made for greater things…

    reply
  • robin

    it hurts, oh yes it does. i wouldn’t know what to do with myself if my own said goodbye to me absolutely. but there is nothing else to do but move on. you must. move on. live.

    reply
  • Brenna

    You haven’t posted any new poems in quite a while. Please don’t stop. I love this blog and not only the poetry you post but the introductions as well. <3

    reply
  • Catalina

    I agree with Brenna, please don’t stop posting! I used to hate poetry, but you’ve made me love it…

    Hope you come back soon xoxo

    reply
  • summer

    Please keep the poems coming… I love to read them so much.

    reply
  • Even more than this poem, your words here spoke to me. It was as if I had written them, and not long ago.

    reply
  • flo

    all my thousands of hearts love the poetry

    reply
  • I just found a card with your one glance and bought it. Came to this site and am living it–the hurt and the love.

    reply

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