you will dig me from the earth with your bare hands, in order to resurrect me by Paula Harris

you will dig me from the earth with your bare hands, in order to resurrect me
Paula Harris

this will be challenging, given that I intend to be cremated,
the cremains then scattered along the ridge of the Tararuas

but still, you will sift through the dirt, the ferns,
the decomposing leaves, the insects;
you will make sacrifices of wheat and goats to the Anemoi,
so that they will agree to use the winds
to help you draw my scattered self to one place

you will worship orishas and physics, you will learn to bend time,
you will make offerings to gods and spirits
that you previously didn’t even know existed

you will gather the first tears of conjoined twins,
the last howl of a dying white wolf,
the moments between thunder and lightning,
the fourth tail of an albino axolotl,
a lamb’s happiest jump,
a metric cup of warmth, created by sunlight hitting the point of Cleopatra’s Needle,
the moment a seed breaks through the surface and becomes a seedling,
five kisses from a Buddhist monk who lives in a cave high above the Matsang River,
927 grams of steel, captured from the dust of knives as they are sharpened,
eleven memories of my smile

you will cast spells,
you will create a sacred circle, a sacred triangle,
a sacred pentagram, a sacred parallelogram

you will wipe the dirt, the decomposing leaves, the insects
from my re-forming body

you will hold my almost-formed left hand and beg me to return,
you will sing me lullabies,
you will tell me how you’ve missed me, how this was all a mistake

with infinite gentleness you will wipe away the dirt water tears
that slip from my still-closed eyes

and all of this will be too late

SELECTED BY ARAH KO

This devastating poem is, at turns, exuberant, elegiac, and playful. Lush with mythic detail and the richness of the poet’s home Aotearoa, “You will dig me from the earth…” embraces the impossible magic of love and poetry. The ending turn still makes me gasp. But this poem has a heartbreaking framework. In both her poetry and extrapoetic life, Harris’s openness about the damaging impact of depression was heartening to me as a young poet struggling with mental health. Tragically, I learned of Harris’ passing in 2023 from suicide when her body was identified on Horowhenua beach. Now, when I read Harris’ poem, I am digging her up from that sandy shore, resurrecting her through lyric in some small way, grateful I have these words to remember her by. So often our words are too late, or too early. I teach Paula’s poem to my workshop students in our elegy unit now, asking them to think about how we remember, and want to be remembered. Poetry has this potent ability to transcend things like time, and death. When I read  “you will dig me from the earth with your bare hands, in order to resurrect me”, it never feels too late.

If you or someone you care about is in a suicidal, mental health, and/or substance use crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to talk with a caring, trained counselor. It is free, confidential, and available 24/7. (Please note that (800) 273-8255, the existing number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, remains operational and will automatically route callers to 988.)

Additional resources for you to get help:

LACDMH Help Line
24/7 crisis and emotional wellness resources
(800) 854-7771

“I’m having thoughts of suicide” (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
Crisis mental health services

Suicide Prevention Resource Center
Effective prevention resources and programs

Suicide Prevention Week Toolkits (Take Action for Mental Health)
Tools to help with planning and implementing suicide prevention awareness initiatives

ABOUT ARAH KO

Arah Ko is a writer from Hawaii, the author of Brine Orchid (YesYes Books, October 2025) and the chapbook Animal Logic (Bull City Press, 2026). Her work has been nominated for the Pushcart Anthology, Best of Net, and Best New Poets and appears in American Poetry Review, Apogee, Ninth Letter, The Threepenny Review, RHINO, Waxwing, Poetry Northwest, and elsewhere. She received her M.F.A. in Creative Writing from The Ohio State University.