Fast-Forward: Fat Fuck & Full of Grace by Omotara James

Fast-Forward: Fat Fuck & Full of Grace
Omotara James

I want to say to her now,
having lived the life she was told

would make her more unlovable
than most, most of her life:

You will remain unlovable
to those who cannot love you.

Eat from the cold dish of this truth.
Your belly will never be flat,

your arms will never be thin.
It is unnecessary to suffer

the hungry imagination
of a fool, still, life is cruel

and all must suffer.

Yes, you will be misunderstood
by those closest—

Even those who dare to try
won’t ever understand

your existence. Why should they?
Humanity is a singular experience.

Any attempt
to make yourself legible

will result in your being
indecipherable to yourself.

You can cultivate community,
but that won’t stop the loneliness,

the dust
the sun
the ache.

You will spend your days alone
and out of reach, but

from your small perch, you’ll see
more of the world than is revealed

to the traveller. What betrays you,
first betrays itself. Within you,

your tiny, perfect suffering,
a fat, unbroken seed.