I should get goosebumps more often by Lily Gavazov

I should get goosebumps more often
Lily Gavazov

because you’ll kiss me with your fevered lips
and move the pillow from behind my head
and pull the ribbon out of my hair
and tie my wrists together in a bow
like a ballerina’s ankle and twirl me on
my front I’ll be more comfortable
forgetting I’ve got a figure at all
still watching my reflection in the dark
screen the way I saw Alicia Silverstone
with that yellow plaid skirt in Clueless
the first time I wondered why I didn’t look
like perfection instead I’ll ask you
to finish off on my face so I can’t see
myself which I hate except when you call
me baby which I love but makes me wish
you’d carry me like an English bulldog
the ones that are so ugly they’re almost cute
I shiver when you squeeze my thigh with your thumb
and pinky finger at the same time
                                         it hurts
to both want and not want something
so badly I’ll say I love you so I can come
up with a list of reasons you don’t that are
easier for me to believe than nothing
to do with the size of the space between my fingers
anything besides
                                                the scope of the cosmos
the color of kisses you left on my chest